A situation familiar to many women: HE is sitting at a table opposite – such a man of your dreams … For half an hour you could laugh at his jokes, but you sit, he finishes his coffee and leaves. And that’s it.
So that “medieval” stereotypes do not prevent you from attracting the attention of a worthy man, we will say goodbye to misconceptions. I have prepared 14 tips that you can “test for yourself” tomorrow or even right now.
Let’s start with the main thing: a woman can take the initiative in getting to know each other. with a man. You can be the first to write in the messenger, talk on the street, in the cinema, in a cafe, and even give a compliment.
Behind all the prejudices on this topic is only the fear of rejection, self-doubt and dependence on someone else’s opinion.
Accept the truth: you are not proposing to him, on your knees, you are offering to chat.
To make you feel calmer, when you first meet a man, remember that this does not oblige you or him to anything. It’s just an attempt to communicate and nothing else in the first place.
Secret technologies and spy stuff?
Of course not. There are no top-secret ways to meet a man. It is generally a simple and enjoyable process. It’s just better to stick to the basic rules that will increase your chances of a successful acquaintance.
Understand, men can’t read your mind.
And even if you glare at him with a stern look from the next table or wink with your left eye for ten minutes, it’s not a fact that your motives will be clear to him.
Worthy men are also sometimes shackled by uncertainty if a woman really likes. So most men will only be happy about your soft female initiative.
How to attract the attention of a stranger? Be natural. There is no need to come up with a script and act out a performance: deliberately break a heel, drop a purse on it, collide at a meeting.
It is enough to be yourself and act according to the situation. You can turn to a handsome man for help, advice or ask for some kind of service, or you can just call for coffee.
Normal and not “busy” will be glad to meet you and will not refuse her request if you:
- you will be self-confident;
- smiling;
- feminine and light;
- and filled with happiness.
If you are very scared, try to meet a man with whom you did not have time to fall in love at first sight. You can meet men to “work out”.
They are also pleased to talk with an intelligent and attractive woman, even if there is no continuation. Thus, they feel masculine and attractive – quid pro quo.
And you will feel calmer and more confident. It will get easier for you every time. You will become more free and confident in all situations related to communication with strangers.
And later, this experience will be useful to you to start a conversation with the very neighbor or colleague with whom you have not been able to meet for a year.
13 simple phrases for dating
You just need to decide on the first, and then two scenarios are possible. Either everything will go like clockwork, or you will understand that the man is “not yours” and you can look further.
But remember that it is also necessary to refuse a man politely and without hurting his dignity. Say that you were pleased to meet and chat. And do not forget about the formula “compliment-rejection-compliment”.
So, here is a selection of phrases and questions for dating a man that you might find useful:
1. “Hi. You are a very attractive man, let’s have a coffee and get to know each other? – the simplicity and frankness of this phrase bribe a normal, self-confident man.
A couple of words will be enough for him to understand: you are confident in your attractiveness, polite and not insecure. And what could be better than sincere interest?
2. “Call me. I really want to get to know you better. Katya…” – with a smile, leave a note with your phone number in his hand and leave with that very “flying” gait. Be sure that you will hook him and he will not be able to forget about the pretty stranger.
A more adventurous option is to leave a note with a phone number (don’t forget to add a smiley), even under the wiper of his car in the parking lot.
The only caveat – make sure that the wind does not blow it away.
3. “And which one would you choose? I don’t understand this at all” – if a worthy man appeared in a boutique or even in a supermarket. Everything from a tie to a bottle of expensive wine can be a good reason to get acquainted.
A man will always be happy to help an attractive woman who knows how to celebrate his taste and masculinity.
4. “You have an amazing Labrador. It is immediately clear that the owner is very loving. I would love to meet him!” – in case your neighbor walks his beloved the dog every morning while you go for a run.
The whole subtlety of this phrase is that a real dog lover will immediately understand: it was not the dog that was interested, but the owner. Yes, an important point – it is better to find out the breed of the dog, naming it will be even easier to get to know.
Don’t forget to add each other on social media so you don’t get bored the next morning. Because sincere interest and two compliments at once will do their job.
5. “Please pretend that you were waiting for me! This man has been following me for two blocks!” – this phrase works well in the evening and is able to turn on the instinct of a protector in a man.
If he has no urgent plans, he will even walk you home. And if the phone asks, it’s your task.
6. “Love Vonnegut? An author for real intellectuals. How do you like his Malachi?” – a man with a book in his hands is easy prey, especially if you already know the book.
If the author is unknown to you, just do not mention the title of the work, say that you have been advised to read it for a long time, and you are very interested in whether it is worth it.
The only thing left to do is to discuss the content and exchange impressions and phone numbers. It is unlikely that your acquaintance will end there.
7. “Which do you prefer: Chemex or Aeropress?” — do you see it every day in a coffee shop near work, do you adore coffee and know all sorts, tastes and degrees of roasting?
Then start with this phrase. Or an alternative, so as not to be “smart”: forget everything you know about coffee and ask him to advise you on the best one in his opinion.
9. “Can you tell me how to get through …?” – the good old, time-tested. Asking a man a question means hooking on his leadership instinct. And helping a confused woman is already a double whammy.
Then you write the script.
10. “They say these headphones have the juiciest bass… What do you say?” – a man or a guy with headphones is also a good option. Yes, depending on the mood and the situation, you can refer to a man as “you” and “you”.
In principle, the situation is similar to the case with the book, but it is complicated by the fact that if you either hear what kind of music he is playing and how and probably he does not hear you.
In public transport, you can often see a playlist on a smartphone screen – there are several reasons for getting to know each other: a gadget and music.
Do you hear your favorite band? Tell him you’re crazy about her too. and ask what his favorite song is.
If he does not hear you, you can take a chance and write. Right in the messenger, just show him a message and start acquaintance with such a correspondence.
An original and unbanal approach is a reason to pay attention.
11. A simple “Hi!”, twinkling eyes and a sincere smile sometimes work better than any words. And then find out if you know each other or not.
12. “Maybe we can still get to know each other or just look at each other?” – for a situation where a man looks at you all evening, but does nothing. The main thing is to say the phrase flirting and with a slight smile.
It will take courage, but remember – you will not lose anything, because male insecurity can have completely different reasons.
13. “Oh, sorry. I am quite distracted today. Can I redeem myself with a cup of coffee?” – for the case if she stepped on a man’s foot in a subway bus, in an elevator, anywhere.
An awkward situation is also a great opportunity to get to know each other. Moreover, who will refuse a pretty and sincerely apologetic stranger?
There is such a pathetic expression: “What a woman wants, God wants.” Therefore, my dear, do not be afraid to act! Don’t be shy, if you want something, smile and take it.
And what phrases helped you get to know a man? Write in the comments, maybe it will be useful for me to add them to the list.
Courage Test
Believe me, only the first few times will be difficult for you to make an acquaintance. Each time you will feel more calm and joyful. Be friendly and repeat the basic rules:
The man is not a psychic. If you don’t talk to him, don’t smile, your relationship will end without even starting. Even strong men sometimes lose their temper if they really like a woman;
Be natural, just play a little with your mood and create an atmosphere;
Don’t be afraid to ask a man. Help, advise – this is a reason for him to feel courageous and attractive.
Practice. Acquaintance with a man does not oblige you to marry him and give birth to four children – this is a benefit to both of you.
Don’t suppress your desires. Believe me, in this case, you will least of all regret that you took the first step, because you will literally immediately understand how interesting a man is.
And then the acquaintance will do without empty hopes and expectations from the series “why doesn’t he call” and “can he write first?”.
